Several people have asked me why I haven’t been blogging lately. Okay, that’s a lie. Hardly anyone noticed. Not even Amma jan. Can’t really be surprised though; without persistence of presence nothing can survive in today’s culture of perpetual sensory bombardment. This goofy prepubescent blog didn’t stand a chance.
Though I hadn’t forgotten about this space. I frequented it on occasion with a half-baked idea and a half-chubbed motivation boner to type it out. But something always stopped me. A few things actually.
First, most of the views I was getting seemed to be from internet perverts. People using search terms like “slut and dogs” (I’m not even joking) unwittingly happened upon my page. I can imagine them sitting there, typing with one hand, cursing like masturbating sailors as they land on this space. Joke’s on you, weirdos. Or just dickheads using searches like “Fuck you Malala Yousafzai“, etc. The motivation boner didn’t enjoy these occurrences very much.
Then there was the creative writing workshop I had started, a weekly thing which sucked me in and left no desire to produce words for anything else. Week after week went by with me producing half-assed fiction as this space quietly stagnated, witnessed begrudgingly by my pervy visitors.
I also got busy putting a few personal/professional wheels in motion. Working towards becoming a pretentious artsy fartsy sort. Preparing a couple of art exhibitions. Building up an art portfolio. About to launch a retail brand (tum nay Engineering PhD quit ki darzi bannay kay liye?! LOL). I hardly had time to ingest illegal substances, let alone blog about weirdness.
But all of these are excuses, and I know it. The ultimate reason to stop blogging about survival in the land of madness is that I simply had no more to say. Each time I had a new blog idea it seemed like a regurgitation of something that had come before.
I never intended for this space to become a hub for social commentary, or a critique of our culture/politics/society/what have you. There’s enough of that going on, by better educated folk. One more rambling bitch-blog won’t help anyone. I wanted this to be a space where I put down whatever I’ve learned about living a meaningful, fulfilling life here. This basically involved introspection and cultivating growth within to counterbalance the madness that goes on without. And after a few months, that lesson hasn’t really changed.
This isn’t to say that the madness doesn’t change. Oh no, if there’s one thing Pakistan is good at, it’s the production of novel absurdity. In current news, Tahir-ul-Qadri is rolling into town in another ridiculously farcical march, the Army has finally decided that the time for dialogue is over (#Zarb-e-Azb), and so on. In the background, minorities are still being persecuted (recently, someone stole an Ahmadi’s eid cow because what use does he have for it anyway?), women are being mistreated (a woman was raped and hung from a tree, another was killed in broad daylight in central Lahore for ‘honor’), mismanagement and heat has led to several deaths at Shahbaz Qalandars’ urs, the police decided to shoot TUQ supporters in Lahore (it was decided for them, more like), our wonderful leaders continue doing what they do (idiocy and corruption), conspiracy soup is constantly a-stirrin’, and so forth.
Same shit, different day.
The specifics may vary, but the game is as it ever was. And as a regular little citizen of this space, I have three options in retaliation:
1. Bitch about it: on Facebook, Twitter, to friends and family, and so forth. Worst option. Useless, helps no one, and causes one to get addicted to the act of bitching as a mechanism of escape. Downward spiralling predicted.
2. Do something about it: best option. Contribute in whichever way you can, live a life of service, look to give back, fight the good fight. Place in heaven guaranteed. A difficult life, but one worth living. Not for the faint of heart.
3. Keep calm and move on. Water off a duck’s back. Be a bulwark of selfish fortitude and strength against the riproaring tornado of hate and evil, and sally forth. Make your peace with it all. Don’t pretend to be anything you are not (don’t pretend to be from the #2. category if you aren’t: it is better to be true to your base self than to fake virtue).
I choose a combo of 2 and 3 (weighted more towards 3). To put it another way: contribute or keep moving. Don’t stop to taste the horseshit. Anything I have said, perhaps anything I will say, are simply specific applications of this general principle.
So there it is. I’ll come up with one more post, a compilation of previous brainfarts, while I figure out where this blog is headed. Until then, it’s back to being a darzi for me.
P.S.: If you want to check out my artwork, you can do so here.
P.P.S.: Stop watching animal porn, you weirdos.